Rulers of the Spikeverse and Absolite: A five fandom crossover
by dribbal
Summary: The main two are depicted in the categories. There is also King of the Hill, Top Gear (and Politics). I wish KotH and Top Gear were in the Tv series section and you could add more categories
1. preface

Long long ago, in the year 2013 A. D., there lived Barack Obamaand Ken Sugimori, designing the Absolite as the colors of Invert Color Obama, not of Mega Ricey(Did that on purpose, the wings look like a Honda Civic decal) Absol. Two gullible Manectric brothers, Mr. Discargo and Spike, hated this. This is their story.


	2. Chapter 1: The Rice-Is Begins

October 12, 2013.

Mr. Discargo was hyped about the new X and Y games. He wanted to take a break from his job to play it.

He was getting farther into the game when he caught Absol and obtained Absolite.

The description read "When this item is attached to Absol, it allows the Absol to mega evolve in battle.".

He tested it out.

"OH, OH YE—". His dramatic cheer was interrupted immediately when he saw the Mega Absol's design.

Spike, thankfully has turned on the shredder.

Mr. Discargo yowled, "IT'S RICEY! ITS WINGS LOOK LIKE A HONDA CIVIC DECAL!". He violently dumped the 3DS into the shredder.

People heard the news. Few liked the design though, and those few are mafia members.

That is how, an infamous event, the Rice-is of '13, started.


	3. Chapter 2: Gordon, there's a problem

October 13, 2013

A newspaper arrived at Gordon's house.

Nicky looked at the doorstep and saw the newspaper. Nicky read the heading, "THE NEW ABSOL FAILS COMPLETELY". Nicky said drastically, "Gordon, there's a problem, you better see this!". Gordon read the heading of the newspaper and was shocked. He kept reading the article. Then he realized a disaster happened. "We better solve this problem or the world will be invaded by users of the Inverse Obama Stone and Mafian allies. The Rice-sis just began. This Discargo Manectric probably has a strong opinion about this and can help us. " Gordon stated.


	4. Chapter 3: Absol doesn't wanna be riced

October 13, 2013

Mr. Discargo was canceled his break due to the outburst of Absolite in Our State. Today, an Absol came into his Pawn Shop. The Absol asked, "Are you Mr. Discargo?". Mr Discargo gave a jolly reply, "Yes, I am the one and only Mr. Discargo.". The Absol verified that he was Mr. Discargo by speaking like how an Absol should speak, only saying "Absol". Mr. Discargo responded fluently. Absol was shocked and in stress at the same time. The Absol said, "Save me from the Absolite, I don't want to become a ricer.". Mr. Discargo took the necklace of the Absol, grabbed a hammer from Spike and crushed it like Jeremy Clarkson crushing Peers Morgan's skull with a hammer.


	5. Chapter 4: New type of break

October 20, 2013.

Mr. Discargo thought about a new break. (Yes, he still wanted a break which is stupid.)

It was about the McLaren P1.

When he shredded the 3DS, he sold the scrap metal for money to buy the P1. (If you want numbers, yes Gopher, exactly 1,100,000 dollars)

Seeing the Discharge Pokemon drive a car with a unique car face was embarrassing.

He drove it until he found the X and Y source of Absolite.

The car came with a Machete so he killed the Absolite with the Machete.


	6. Chapter 5: Why it is a foolish idea to f

October 21, 2013.  
After the Absolite Machete thing...  
"We have our special guest, a pawn shop leader with a random Disaster Species recessive gene, Mr. Discargo!" Jeremy Clarkson announced.  
Mr. Discargo was filled with excitement as his dare is preparing for him.  
"Mr. Clarkson, I have a really interesting race that I would like to do."  
"Okay then,"  
"Against the Stig,"  
"What car?"  
"I am going to drive this Honda Civic against the Stig driving a McLaren P1 made of Absolite."  
"Sounds like something James May would do."  
"But it is made of Absolite."  
"This is a great idea, unless the Honda Civic is made of Absolite."  
"The Civic is made of steel."  
"Let's start it."  
The race was on. This seemed unfair until you see this. (Absolite is not a common metal in the periodic table. Absolite isn't even on the periodic table YET. Which is like a 3D printed car, except with mega stones. That gives the Honda an advantage. P.S. The P1 would still probably win.)  
The Stig was ahead by about 30 meters.  
Mr. Discargo drifted ahead the riced P1 and was ahead by about 10 meters.  
The Stig caught up by about 20 meters ahead of the Civic.  
They were near the finish.  
Right at the finish line, Mr. Discargo was ahead by 5 meters, making a victory.  
Mr. Discargo chanted, "Steel cars are better than Absolite cars.".  
That proves it's foolish to make a car out of Absolite.  
Imagine 2 P1's. One made of Absolite and another made of Steel. Which one would win?  
The Steel car, of course!


	7. Chapter 6: Reborn Einstein discovers a n

p style="font-family: HelveticaNeue;" data-p-id="0edfaab37265f847245405fe94976970"October 22, /Remember how I said that Absolite will become an element in the periodic table? Remember how I said yet? You remember, right? In Chapter 5, right? Yes, you do. This is how it is /Mr. Discargo invented a machine that can do two different things, bring people back to life (not like zombie things) and duplicate people using genetic /Mr. Discargo wanted to bring Albert Einstein back to provide that Absolite is a unique element. He took Einstein's genes and inserted the remaining genes into the machine. He pulled the lever. Einstein was reborn!br /Mr. Discargo held the crushed remains of the Absolite. "This is its own element." Einstein said. "Atomic Mass of about 1007.4 and Atomic number of 359. Symbol is Abt./p 


	8. Chapter 7: Gordon has a visit

October 31, 2013.  
"I don't want to have a bunch of idiots going to us tricking or treating."  
That was Spike.  
"Let's pretend that this store is closed when sundown comes." Mr. Discargo said.  
"And both of us hide behind the counter?"  
"Yes, Spike."  
Later that day...  
Spike kept a good eye on the kids and adults in the mall. Then someone came. It was Gordon and Nicky.  
"Are you Mr. Discargo?" asked Gordon.  
"I'm Spike, his brother, are you coming to trick or trea—"  
"I don't celebrate Halloween but I came to help."  
"About what?"  
"Absolite. I read the newspaper and heard about the Rice-sis of 2013. You hated it. I believe Barack Obama caused it."  
"Sure, but why Obama?"  
Gordon took his iPhone 5 out of his bag and showed Spike a picture of Obama. Then Gordon triple-clicked the home button. It was in invert colors now. Obama now looked blue and white like an Absolite.  
"Very reasonable. Einstein told me that Absolite is its own element on the Periodic Table." Spike replied.  
"I borrowed scrap metal from the car that Ayrton Senna died in. I observed the metal it's made out. It turns out the car is made out of a compound of Absolite and Blastoisite. But the Absolite really pulled the trigger. You know why Mitt Romney didn't win the election of 2012?"  
"Why?"  
"Mitt Romney said that Ayrton Senna's death was reasonable. If the car was made of steel, he said, Senna would've have survived with a few injuries."  
"But why was Absolite discovered before 2013?"  
"Good question, Spike. The answer was that people couldn't split Mega-like chemicals until late September 2013. Absolite was seen as a compound with Blastoisite and Blazikenite, and rarely Scizorite. Before X and Y came out, Absolite was polished red. Absolite never got its matte blue and white color until Barack Obama and Ken Sugimori teamed up to modify its color."


	9. Chapter 8: ITS FREAKING NOVEMBER WHY DON

November 1, 2013.  
It is November, literally Mr. Discargo's and Spike's least favorite month since 2012, when Obama was re-elected. They get cranky, that's why. It gets worse with Absolite. They're cranky-er.  
Mr. Discargo woke up in the morning. He noticed the calendar. It was November. "AAAAAAAHHHHHH IT'S NOVEMBER, A YEAR SINCE OBAMA WAS RE-ELECTED. (a bunch of swears)." Mr. Discargo yelled. That woke up Spike. Spike looked at the calendar. "WHAT THE —. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. ITS NOW 30 MORE DAYS UNTIL DECEMBER." Spike yowled. Spike went on (fake website) and typed in "Absolite". No coincidence. The Absolite usage almost doubled since October 20. "October 20: 13,432 Absolites; November 1: 25,785 Absolites" the website stated. "THIS SUCKS! THE ABSOLITE USAGE IS INCREASING!" Spike yelled. "WHAT? OH MY GOD, THIS AIN'T GOOD. NOT AT ALL." Mr. Discargo nervously yowled.  
A guy came. He said, "CH—". "IT'S FREAKING NOVEMBER." Mr. Discargo said. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHILL. ITS ONLY A MONTH." the guy responded. "A MONTH IS 30 DAYS. 30 DAYS IS 720 HOURS. 720 HOURS IS 43200 MINUTES! AND THE ABSOLITE USAGE INCREASED!" Mr. Discargo yowled.  
The screen:  
November 1 (updated just now): 26,410  
"Oh crud." Mr. Discargo thought.


	10. Chapter 9: ChrismasThe year in review

p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="8d8e79e50497032e5bfadd1080f738cf"span style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;"December 25, 2013./spanbr style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;" /span style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;"Mr. Discargo opened his presents under the Christmas tree. He got a hover board and The Year in Review: 2013 by Time Magazine. Spike got Manectrite. After Mr. Discargo mounted the hover board on the bottom of his McLaren P1, he decided to check out The Year in Review: 2013. Mr. Discargo scrolled through it to find the Rice-is of 2013 but there wasn't a trace. "WHAT THE HECK! WHY ISN'T THE RICE-IS HERE!" Mr. Discargo yowled. "There are two possible reasons. One is that Obama secretly owns Time Magazine and another is the fact that Time Magazine is emo." Spike replied. "Are you saying that Obama is emo?" Mr. Discargo stupidly asked. "No. Emos own Time Magazine and Time Magazine was written for emos. That explains why events that we are not associated with but are overly famous are in this, like the Boston Marathon Bombing, which WE should forget. But why isn't the Rice-is of '13 in this? It is worse than the Marathon Bombing and approximately 30% of people don't know it happened compared to 2.7% for the Marathon Bombing. Big difference, right? Yes, it is. The emos who wrote this magazine don't know it happened or they want US to forget about the Rice-is and not to forget the Bombing and I believe that one of the editors was raging, 'YOU FORGOT THE RICE-IS!' but the emos argued and debated saying it never happened and guess who won? The emos! And never forget those who suffered in the Rice-is." Spike argued. Spike had a good point. Now you see why:/spanbr style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;" /span style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;"You shouldn't trust emos (if you are emo, don't trust intelligent morons like Mr. Discargo and Spike)./spanbr style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;" /span style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;"You shouldn't read Time Magazine, especially their "The Year in Review" series(In the 2015 The Year in Review, they forgot to mention Undertale, Scott Cawthon quitting FNAF, and Homestuck.)./spanbr style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;" /span style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;"If any famous event that people died in, is memorable, think outside the box and think about more events that happened in the same year are memorable to few(Before the 9/11 there was the Digimon impact.)./spanbr style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;" /span style="color: #000000; font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: 12px;"And lastly, never forget those who suffered in the Rice-is of '13!/span/p 


	11. Chapter 10: Mr Discargo becomes a ricer

January 1, 2014.  
What do Russian Car Testers, Professor Sycamore, and Photoshop Guy have in common? You guessed it! They all love to rice cars.  
Ever since the Riced Ford Escort victory of 1968, ricers have become a way to put useless mods on your car. But 2013 was when it blew out of the chart.  
Mr. Discargo, was bagged by robbers to a place made of only Honda Civic, Toyota Priuses, and cardboard junk. No sign of Absolite (ironically).  
He woke up and hated the view. Although Mr. Discargo had terrible hearing, the robbers in the other room were talking so loud even he could hear it himself. They said, "When Manectric Mega-evolves, it gains a higher speed. So rice the car with his Manectrite and the lightning bolt on his back.". They Mega-evolved him and he felt numb.  
A few hours later...  
There were two cars parked in front of him. Both were Honda Civic. There was a Mega Absol across the room. It was not the same Absol he saved (Oh, thank goodness!) Some racer boys (people who rice cars for a living) came and asked, "What's brought you here?".  
The Mega Absol only could say "Absol".  
Mr. Discargo replied hesitantly , "I- I- I don't know b- but it must've been some sort of t- transportation.".  
"Time to make you both ricer mods." one of the racer boys said with an evil grin.  
The racer boys split up. Half of them worked on ricing the blue and white Civic (Mega Absol ricer mod) while the others worked on ricing the blue and yellow with tints of red Civic (Mega Manectric ricer mod).  
After a few minutes, they were done. Mr. Discargo was literally swearing the word "Absol" that only the Mega Absol understood. The racer boys did not care.  
They both ran into the cardboard junk and hid. Then they broke out of the ricer mod factory, and ran. They found out that they were near an adobe in the Kalos Region, Russia (Thought that was coincidential? This idea of a place was based of a true story, a prank call that my friend had. Here it is: My friend prank called KFC to see where their chicken came from. "Our chicken is from Salt Lake City, Idaho." KFC replied. But that was off topic, let's continue.).  
Mr. Discargo found a phone booth, and called Spike (His number is 1-800-350-GO-SPIKE or 1-800-350-4676453. P.S. Please don't dial it in real life, or you will face disastrous consequences. I won't tell you what they are because I don't want to). Spike did the voice mail prank. It was "Yo, are you Mr. Discargo, I'm at the Spikeverse right now and we can't communicate because radio waves don't travel through other dimensions. Please leave a voice mail and I will answer ASAP.". The reply that Mr. Discargo gave was "Yo Spike, help me I'm a ricer mod, help! Get me my P1 and drive it here. Please! I'm in the Kalos Region, Russia! Near *looks across the street and reads sign* Dora Explora Diner and an adobe. Okay. Thanks for your Adsum-ness. Mr. Discargo. ".  
Meanwhile at the Spikeverse.  
"I feel as if something happened to Mr. Discargo. " Spike thought.  
He rushed out of the Spikeverse back to the pawn shop.  
Spike heard the voice mail.  
Spike started up the McLaren P1. The engine roared. Spike threw the machete into the trunk and got out the emergency Nitrous Oxide. The P1 was going at high speeds when Spike used the Nitro.  
Okay okay, let's pause right there, they are in the 51st state of America (it's not Puerto Rico by the way ) and they have to go to Russia? Wow. Spike, you need a way to defy gravity somehow so the P1 doesn't drown. Don't worry, this is fiction and in fiction, everything is possible. Let's continue and see how Spike reacts.  
Spike remembered that Mr. Discargo's Christmas present was a hover board the size of a P1 that could carry 2 tons maximum. The hover board was connected to the car, so the P1 was now leviating. The ocean was near. The Nitro was still working. The P1 hovered over the water, now accelerating to 500 mph. Which means it can travel 25 miles in 3 minutes. That's unusually fast for a McLaren P1 and that's because of Mr. Discargo's mods. It took about 10 minutes to get to 1000 mph. The P1 took about 12 minutes to get to the place in Russia(Yes, scroll up, that's the place in Russia.) that Mr. Discargo was talking about. Mr. Discargo saw the hovercar near Dora Explora Diner. The McLaren slowly landed and Mr. Discargo went inside. Then they drove back to the pawn shop at a whopping 1300 mph! Then they were back.  
P. S. This chapter beat my record of most words. With 831 words. The P1 was still faster.


	12. Chapter 11: The Primary of Our State

March 8, 2016.  
Mr. Discargo has recently created a reborn Abe Lincoln, who is now a Republican candidate.  
Mr. Discargo was walking with Spike to the Will's Arena to vote. They argued.  
"Don't vote for a Democrat. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders agree that the United States of America should be renamed the United States of Absolite." Spike said, then replaying both their speeches with his iPhone 6++;, revealing that what he said was true.  
"I agree, that's why I hate Democrats." Mr. Discargo replied.  
"Let's vote for Donald Trump, he's a good Republican. "  
"Trump is a trick. He'll ship us back to Europe, where we came from."  
"I _**know**_ he's a trick. He'll do many more good things.  
1\. He'll give us a small loan of a million dollars so I can civilize the Spikeverse.  
2\. He'll ban Absolite.  
3\. Obama doesn't think Trump is going to be our next president. Let's prove Obama wrong. "  
" Let's vote for reborn Abe Lincoln! "  
"Naw, still voting for Donald Trump."  
There they cast their votes. Spike votes for Donald Trump. Mr. Discargo voted for Abraham Lincoln.


	13. Chapter 12: Trump wins

November 10, 2016  
The news is on. Trump officially wins the election.  
"WHEEEEEEWWWWWEEEEEWWWWWYYYYEEEEEEAAAHHHH!" Spike yelled.  
"You can't be **_THAT_** excited. I voted Rebirth of Abraham Lincoln but he dropped out a **_LONG_** time ago." Mr. Discargo replied.  
"Trump might destroy Absolite but he also might make something worse."


	14. Chapter 13: The BWAHH-solite Conspiracy

November 11, 2016  
A van came. Mr. Discargo panicked and hid. When it came close, Mr. Discargo realized wasn't an Absolite van(sketchy white van that people sell Absolite in). It parked. Two men came out of it. The one with glasses was holding a propane tank. The other man was wearing a hat and sunglasses while smoking.  
They walked inside the store. "WHO ARE YOU?" asked Spike.  
"I am Hank Hill, Strickland Propane."  
"I am Dale Gribble, Gun Club President and Exterminator."  
"I'm Spike, my bro Discargo is not here. Why have you come?" Spike demanded.  
"Don't call me that!" Mr. Discargo corrected.  
"I brought this propane tank that you could use to help burn down Absolite." Hank said.  
"Thanks a lot, Hank!" Spike replied.  
"Do you know what Trump is up to? I was running for president and I got only 10 popular votes. Saddest day of my life. But I could help you get rid of Trump's evil plot and Absolite" Dale demanded.  
"Sorry I didn't vote for you. I didn't know you **_RAN_** for president. Please help." Both Manectric brothers said.  
"Destroying the government? Of course."


	15. Last Chapter

Chapter 13 was the last chapter of the story. I'm sorry. There will be a second RotSaA though.  
Spoiler: It involves Mixels. Hank Hill and Dale Gribble will be very important. A character (I won't tell you who **_YET_** ) will plot to kill Obama.


End file.
